ive neva realli felt dat word very strongly in my life.. perhaps my expectations are just too intense or melodramatic.. but the people around me today realli opened up my shallow eyes to wad means to really forgive.. my grandma is the epitome of it i guess.. i realli realli am in awe of her.. for i know my heart will neva be as big as hers to bear all the shit dat she has tolerated all her life and still reamain a caring person towards my grandfather.. i dun intend to diss him in any way.. but the stuff he has put her through borders on the despicable at times.. sigh.. aniwayz the incident dat realli touched me was dat she stayed up late today just to wait for any news bout how he was after being sent to the a&e at the hospital due to a high fever.. the genuine concern i saw in her eyes realli melted my heart.. i thought dat love would be covered by all the emotional scars through the years.. but no.. her love (and i dun mean the romantic sort but the unconditional sort) is still intact and strong despite it.. furthermore, i had a chat with her bout another uncle of mine.. n discussing about how nice it was dat he finally reconciled with everyone after a coupla years.. her matter-of-fact statement dat "sometimes people just make mistakes" is all so true and is testimony to real forgiveness.. one dat accepts the other the way he/she is without any unhealthy desire for vindication or justice or wadeva..
tis morning too was an eye opener.. n it was one of my catechism kids dat taught me another lesson in forgiveness.. it all happened after being pushed whilst playing a game during their last catechism class of the year.. tis boy S, made a big fuss and vehemently scolded the boy who allegedly pushed him until he cried.. i broke the argument up n later told S dat he shouldnt bear any grudges and since its the last lesson of the year, it would be nice to patch things up.. his initial reaction was expected.. being a rather quick witted kid, he retorted dat he would not, even after i jokingly threatened to retain him in P3 for one more year.. i left the matter at dat since i anticipated his reluctance right from the start.. however he totalli surprised me and made me damn bloody proud when he made the effort to sit next to the boy he made cry and all the angst dat was juz there moments before was seemingly replaced by genuine friendship.. and when that boy tripped over a chair n fell, tis boy S was the first to help him up and ask bout his wellbeing.. wah seh.. children are seriously so fast to forgive.. i should learn more than a thing or two from them in tis department.. i frankly neva expected my advice to S to be followed too.. perhaps im always too hard on miself.. now i realize dat i shouldnt put mi efforts down.. i now know dat even the smallest word of encouragement or advice can work wonders in others lifes..
Love and forgiveness goes hand in hand.. one cannot exist without the other.. its such a beautiful thing to witness.. even more to experience it.. i juz pray dat tis inspiration from others does not go to waste on me.. hu is in constant need of a bigger heart.. heh..